You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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