i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize