sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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