We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
