Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She's the barista slut.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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