then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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