So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
this will be a night to untag.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
