pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
