glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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