Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
