Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
