I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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