Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
