Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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