Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
