I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize