Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
