Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
