sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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