Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
