the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The feeling are messing with the penis
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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