so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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