He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
