...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize