Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
