please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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