We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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