dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
