I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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