I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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