I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
