i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
