he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We are two peas in an std pod
Let's paint friendship bongs
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
