I need help removing her.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
