Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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