Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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