All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
