And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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