Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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