Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
