I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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