I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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