Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my being single is dangerous.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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