I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
