So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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