YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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