fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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