I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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