He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
