She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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