Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
