ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
