Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
