I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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