I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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