go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
