I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
