You really coming over, don't trick.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
