Do vagina's smell?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
