Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
