My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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