I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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