I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
