The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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