But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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