Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
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I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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