no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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