I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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